Don’t delay… end suffering today!
Here is a wonderful TED talk by Christopher Ryan, plus quotes from it, which echo my thinking so perfectly that I need not add more:
“The contradictions between what we’re told we should feel and what we actually do feel generates a huge amount of unnecessary suffering. My hope is that a more accurate, updated understanding of human sexuality will lead us to have greater tolerance for ourselves, for each other, greater respect for unconventional relationship configurations like same-sex marriage or polyamorous unions, and that we’ll finally put to rest the idea that men have some innate, instinctive right to monitor and control women’s sexual behavior [my bold italics].”
And vice versa, of course.
“It’s not only gay people that have to come out of the closet. We all have closets we have to come out of. Right? And when we do come out of those closets, we’ll recognize that our fight is not with each other, our fight is with an outdated, Victorian sense of human sexuality that conflates desire with property rights [my bold italics], generates shame and confusion in place of understanding and empathy.”
“What I’m arguing against is the shame that’s associated with desires. It’s the idea that if you love your husband or wife but you still are attracted to other people, there’s something wrong with you, there’s something wrong with your marriage, something wrong with your partner. I think a lot of families are fractured by unrealistic expectations that are based upon this false vision of human sexuality. That’s what I’m trying to get at.”
What he doesn’t point out in this talk (though may do elsewhere, of course), is that monogamy decrees that love is permissible only under specific circumstances. It means love, and the expression of it, is controlled. That is a crime against nature. For me, that makes monogamy a sin.
Love and monogamy are antithetical terms.