So… pennies are dropping…
Our personality (aka ego) is an avatar (a representation of the organism we call the ‘self’) that our mind (the part of it that is charged with preservation of the organism) has created in order to navigate the matrix (the environment it finds itself located in and cannot escape from).
Let’s say that again without the parentheses. Our personality is an avatar that our mind has created in order to navigate the matrix.
Our minds contain personalised collections of data (though some of that data is common to other minds by dint of being immersed in the same cultural pool). The collection is unique because we each have a unique set of experiences.
So, the matrix is perceived differently by each mind because each mind is different. There are as many matrices as there are minds – no – there’s more! Every situation, every relationship – every moment in fact – is a unique matrix.
So there is no one, universal matrix. There are infinite matrices in a constant state of manifestation. And each one is an illusion – a construct in the mind of the perceiver. A figment of imagination.
And so, we need more than just one avatar, one personality, one ego. We need lots. If each matrix – each perception of reality – is unique, then every avatar we ever construct is unique. We must be making them up on the fly.
So, if the matrices are illusions, that means the avatars created to navigate them are also illusions.
But we believe them to be real. We believe our personalities are ‘us’. “I am” this and “I am” that.
This is, of course, what Buddhism and people like Eckhart Tolle and quantum consciousness advocates – et al – are on about, but it’s only just beginning to be properly understood by my particular mind.
So, how to be comfortable within a reality I now understand more clearly to be a simulation of a so-called ‘reality’… a random one at that? A simulacrum. I love that word. I’m thinking it’s got something to do with getting unstuck from the sticky web that is the matrix of illusion and delusion and being able to walk about more feely without that glue weighing me down.
Now here’s another thing I’ve been thinking: if it’s all an illusion – a construct of imagination – how come astrology can provide us with an accurate guide to understanding it? Which it can. I know because I’ve been studying it on and off for more than 25 years. The thing is, within the context of a materialist viewpoint (the most common one on account of our education) astrology doesn’t make sense, but within the context of quantum physics, which is not incompatible with the ancient everything-is-one viewpoint, it can make sense.
I’m also thinking… rather than looking for something meaningful to connect to – which I think seekers of understanding are doing – perhaps what one must do is disconnect from meaning in order to be free (a perception of a reality) and treat life like a ride as Bill Hicks advised. Here’s a link.
Is our problem – as humans – that we associate freedom with alienation (a perception rather than an actuality) and that’s why we latch on to things that bind and trap us in order to feed our hunger for belonging (a perception)?
Is it about our confusion about our place within the crowd – the swarm – a conflict between perceptions of freedom/alienation and belonging/entrapment?
Hmmm. More pondering is required, methinks.
Later: stumbled upon this about being dissatisfied with ego experience… whoa… it soooo resonates with me…